How to play

You ride a scooter from a home town to a real scooter rally, one country at a time. On the way you pick up fuel and food and keep clear of the drink and the traffic. Between countries you stop at a pub and dance, and when you reach the rally you dance at the party and earn its patch for your jacket.

The game works on a phone or a computer. On a phone, hold it upright; on a computer, the arrow keys steer.

1. Pick your dancer and your rider

Tap the title screen to start. First pick your dancer: they dance for you at every pub stop and at the rally party. There are eight to choose from: a two-tone rude boy and rude girl, a mod boy and girl, a skinhead boy and girl, a punk girl and a rocker. Then choose your rider, Miguel on his Lambretta or Alba on her Vespa. The scooter sets the engine sound.

You can also ride as yourself. Tap ADD YOUR PHOTO and pick a photo of you on your scooter: the game cuts you out and turns you into a pixel rider. It works best with the whole scooter in shot, from the front, with nobody else in the picture. Better still, cut yourself out on the phone first (a long press on you in the gallery) and pick that. Your photo is processed on your phone and never leaves it. FLIP turns your rider round, and tapping the scooter name swaps between Vespa and Lambretta.

The dancer screen: the two-tone rude boy dancing big at the top, with all eight dancers below — First pick who dances for you.

The rider screen: Miguel and Alba, with a button to add your own photo — Then pick a rider, or add your own photo.

2. Choose where to go

Pick a country, then one of its rallies. They are all real events, 68 of them in 18 countries. The numbers under each flag show how many of that country's patches you already have.

Then pick where you set off from. The game plans the route country by country, with ferries where it needs them, and shows how many legs and kilometres it is. Tap KICKSTART! to go.

The big international runs, EuroLambretta and Vespa World Days, are under BIG ONES. They open once you have patches from six different countries.

The country screen: flags of 18 countries with how many patches you have from each — Countries, with your patches from each.

The route screen for Scarborough: a list of home towns, with London picked, one leg and 387 kilometres — Pick a starting town and see the route.

3. Ride

Hold your thumb on the left half of the screen to steer left and on the right half to steer right. The LEFT and RIGHT signs on the road are a reminder. Each leg runs through one country, from the border where you come in to the border where you leave.

Petrol cans fill up your tank (+50). The gauge at the top left empties as you ride; if it runs dry, the run is over.
Food scores +100 and each country has its own dishes. It also sobers you up by one drink.
Patches rolling down the road are worth +1000.
Drinks are a hazard. Each one you hit makes the scooter wobble and the steering unreliable, and shows as a glass under the fuel gauge. Two is much worse than one; three ends the run. Ride on without another for a while and they wear off one at a time.
Cars: the first one you hit on a leg is a close one. You lose 250 points, the scooter is knocked sideways and blinks for two seconds while the traffic passes through you. Hit a second car on the same leg and the run ends in hospital. Each leg starts fresh.
The verge: three seconds off the road and you get a flat tyre.

The top of the screen shows the country, how far through the leg you are, and your score.

Riding through the UK with a patch, a petrol can, a cup of tea, a pint and a police car on the road — A patch, fuel, food, a pint to dodge and a car.

Weather

Each leg is ridden in the real weather on that stretch of road, as it is right now; the screen before each leg says what to expect and the bonus it pays, and while you ride a line at the top of the screen keeps showing it. Partway through, rain or snow can start, about as likely as the forecast there says.

Rain makes the road wet and slippery: the scooter slides on a little before it answers the steering. +25% points.
Snow is more slippery still, banks up on the verges, and the road goes by slower. +50% points.
Fog hides the road ahead, so things appear late. +25% points.
Wind from the side pushes you towards the verge in gusts; a headwind slows you down and drinks more petrol, a tailwind speeds you along. A strong wind adds 25% points.

The bonuses add up to at most +50%. Without a connection the game uses the last weather it saw there, or a dry road. Weather data by Open-Meteo.com.

The screen before a leg in the UK: one leg, 387 km to Scarborough National, snow, +50% points — The leg's screen says what weather to expect.

Riding through the UK in snow, with snow banked up on both verges and SNOW +50% at the top of the screen — Snow banks up on the verges.

When a run ends, TRY AGAIN puts you back at the start of the leg you were on, with the score and fuel you had there.

4. The pub and the party

Between countries you stop at a local pub. Your dancer dances in front of the bar and things fall from it: steer the same way to catch them. Drinks score +35 but fill the merry meter on the right; food scores +20 and brings the meter down; patches are +500. There is no clock: the night goes on until the meter is full. Every ten seconds a new round starts and things fall faster, with more drinks among them. Pace yourself with food and you dance longer and score more.

You always sleep it off, so the next leg starts sober with a full tank. But drink fifteen or more in one night (thirty if your rider has double tolerance) and the game warns you: HANGOVER TOMORROW! The next leg then starts slow, with a banner, until you eat something on the road.

At the end of the last leg you reach the rally itself. Getting there earns you the rally's patch, whatever happens at the party. The party works like the pub, with one difference: last orders are at 55 seconds. Keep dancing until then without the merry meter filling up and you get a golden patch instead, with a gold border on your jacket. Once you have a rally's golden patch, it stays gold.

Dancing at the Scarborough rally while rally patches, a pint and a Sunday roast fall from the bar — Catch the food and patches, go easy on the drinks.

The Scarborough National patch earned — Reach the rally and the patch is yours; last until last orders and it's gold.

5. Collect the patches

Every rally you reach adds its patch to your jacket. JACKET on the country screen shows your parka with every patch you have earned sewn on, the first ones in the middle of the back. When the back is full they go on the front; TURN, or a tap on the parka, spins it round. ALL PATCHES shows every patch in the game, country by country, so you can see which are left. Tap a patch to see its rally.

The back of the parka with twelve rally patches sewn on, and buttons to turn it and see all patches — Your parka, with every patch you have earned.

After a rally you can carry on touring: ANOTHER RALLY sets off from where you are, to a rally in another country. HOME ends the tour, and next time you start from a home town again.

You don't have to ride a whole trip in one go. The game saves your ride at the start of every leg, so if you close it (the bus has come), CONTINUE on the title screen picks up at the start of that leg with the score you had there. If you start a new trip instead, it sets off from the last border you crossed, or the last rally you reached; START FROM HOME is always there too.

Your patches, best score and rider are saved on your phone. Nothing is sent anywhere unless you choose to.

Leaderboard

If you'd like to see how you compare, tap RANKS on the title screen and pick a nickname. From then on your finished runs are sent to the leaderboard, which ranks players by patches, best score and kilometres. You get a code that brings your place back on a new phone. You can leave at any time, and that deletes everything the leaderboard has on you (privacy).

On the patches board, golden patches break ties. SHARE on the leaderboard screen makes a picture of your patches and your place, ready for WhatsApp, Instagram or Facebook.

Good to know

SOUND ON / SOUND OFF on the title screen mutes the music and sound effects.
Add the game to your home screen (how) and it opens like an app and plays offline.
Every country has its own road, pub, food and music, so it's worth riding to a few.
There are a few things hidden in the game that this page doesn't tell you about. Keep your eyes open, and tap things.